I don’t understand how the “Queen of Soul” Is walking around with a dead cat on her head. But after reading this it all makes sense!

Aretha Franklin better unlock the bra, because someone is in dire need of a titty slapping! The AP reports that Aretha might lose her Detroit mansion to tax collectors, because her attorney fuckedup.

Aretha’s lawyer made a mistake and didn’t pay $445 in taxes in 2005 causing her home to go into foreclosure over late fees. She owes $19,192 and plans to pay it up by the March 31st deadline.

Phew! Aretha won’t be homeless, but if she needs dough I have a suggestion. Motorboat videos! Aretha’s gigantic chichizillas were made for boob sexing. It would be at your own risk though. I can’t promise that Aretha wouldn’t mistake your peen for a charbroiled hot dog and bite that sucker off.

Okay…so no it all makes sense…she’s wearing a $39 synthetic wig and letting her roots all hang all because she’s owes the IRS. Well, gosh darnit! I’m finna go an pay my taxes…cause if this is what happens when you owe the IRS money i’d rather just pay the greedy bastards!

P.S. I’m nominating Aretha for the “Biggest Titties Award” at the BBW Bash @ The Players Club…She definitely “knocks” all other contestants out with dem big ol titties!

Source: Dlisted